Thank you for being a friend...

NY Times article, "The End of the Best Friend".

I found this to be a totally fascinating read. It offers up the differing views on the term "best friend" and the impact it has on your life.

On one hand you have counselors and "child rearing experts" saying that having one "BFF" is not a good thing, it doesn't allow you to socially grow because you have that one person only that you turn to for everything. Schools fear that having just that one person leads to the feeling of a clique and they fear bullying when the two friends team up against another person. A camp counselor is quoted “If something goes awry, it can be devastating. It also limits a child’s ability to explore other options in the world.”.

On the other hand, you have a group of psychologists that say having that best friend person in your life will help you with a better understanding of intimate relationships through empathy and kindness; not to mention builds self esteem and confidence. You learn to relate and listen to this one person that trusts you to have their best interest at heart.

As I said...this was fascinating to me to read, both sides making sense to me. I grew up an Air Force brat. Because of this I grew used to either moving or having my friends move. And you always make the promise that you are going to stay in touch, you are going to be friends forever no matter how many moves occur. And, let's be honest, you really don't write much after the first few months, if at all. Catherine and Andrea are my two best friends from High School...we kept in touch but it is spotty. We can go months,if not a year, with no contact. Then we'll have months where we are in constant contact. Life moves on, we change. Our friendship is still there but the term "best friend" doesn't mean what I guess most people would consider it to mean.

I sometimes look at people that grew up in the same house, same neighborhood, same school district, and feel jealous of them for having those close bonds with their friends. When they can say "remember in first grade when we..." And they can go all the way up "remember the day we graduated from high school." I miss having those friends, those memories.

But, I also look at the fact that I have a lot of people in my life now and I am happy with that. I have a small group of close friends...the ones that I will go to with everything that goes on in my life. But I have a larger core of acquaintances that are just as important. I think the way I grew up, the constant changing of the friendship scenery, taught me to be more open to the inclusion of someone new in my world. Oh sure, I judge people but I accept their presence pretty easily. (And yes, yes, I am fly paper for the crazy folk, we all know this, but that is a whole other blog post for another day.)

What about you? What are your views? Do you have one best friend or do you have a wider range of friends in your life?

(Article link courtesy of Stepanie Klein's Greek Tragedy Facebook page.)

Some truths in life. (I loved this)

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

2. Nothing worse than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -
ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with alcohol than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw
it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and
sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I'd bet anything that everyone can find and push the snooze button from
3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

To blog x2 or not to blog x2

That is where my current thought process is at.

I was “challenged” by a friend to start writing more openly instead of fun fluffy posts on my blog. She wanted to see me put more depth out there and not hide it from everyone. The fear of being judged runs strong in this young jedi. But I am going to work on that…putting something out there that is more than just fun stuff. (even though I love the fun stuff because it keeps it light instead of all wangsty.)

But here is my dilemma: Do I want to run two blogs? Granted I have both this blog and a private one through another server, but I have kept them pretty separate. Now if I run two blogs that are both public, can I keep up with them both? Or should I just do an overhaul to this one and how I blog here.

If I kept just one blog, it could mean that there would be multiple posts in one day as I tend to try to keep subjects separate (hence the many blogs you are getting today) but it would also mean some of them would be more serious than the playful tone I try to keep over here.

If I started a separate blog, then I have to decide how separated I want it to be.

What do you think? Those of you that have more than one blog, how hard is it to keep them both going with separate subject matter?

Pet Peeves

It has been one of *those* weeks so let me throw a few pet peeves out there.

If you want to train me to do something (that I have been very vocal about not wanting to do, for the record) then train me fully. Don’t just toss me out there with an “I’m sure you will figure it out”. Guess what? I may be able to figure it out but now I’m resenting it and don’t want to figure it out.

Also work related – if you spend all your time complaining about how everyone treats you unfairly and is “plotting” against you, eventually you are going to find that everyone is sick of you and just stops caring what your problem is.

You know I hate when you stalk around, flicking at me with that stupid tail of yours. You know I hate when you pace up and down the length of the bed at 3AM, meowing because you think you need a treat or you are going to die a horrible, starving death. So why do you do it every night? It results in me yelling at you and then you running down the stairs and “yelling” (meowing obnoxiously loud) back up at me. Oh yeah, that was directed to Tyson.

Friendship is a two way street. One person shouldn’t have to be the one that carries the friendship, reaches out and keeps contact going, and takes all initiative. When I get emails or comments that you wonder why I have not said anything all week, maybe it is because I am tired of being the only one keeping things going. When you tell me you miss me and don’t have a clue what is going on in my life, it is because I have stopped sharing with you because you have not shown interest.

And the biggest annoyance of all this week to me…the BP Oil Spill!! It makes my heart hurt every time they show pictures of the animals that are washing to shore covered in the oil and knowing that most will not live.